When asked to do the impossible…​
​by Chris Coladonato, Connection CareBear for The Brilliant Rebellion

A year ago, I was asked to do the impossible:
write a love letter to myself. ​
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​I remember it like yesterday.

I was sitting on a couch with a group of beautiful women at a retreat. One where most of us had just met, yet we felt like we had known each other for years. I felt so comfortable around them. We were sharing fears and deep thoughts with each other. I was digging deeper into who I was more than ever before.

And then, the impossible request. Write a love letter to yourself.

I watched as everyone else put pen to paper, looking thoughtful, while I sat frozen. All I could think was, "What's there to love about me?"

And then I started crying, and I just couldn't stop.

I managed to scribble down a few things - how I loved my short hair (which I do!), how I liked being tall (yup, that too!) - but that was about it.

You see, I always thought I loved myself. If someone had asked me if I did, I would have shaken my head and said “yes”. But that would have been a lie.

What I realized after reflecting on that tear-filled day was that not only didn’t I love myself, I didn’t like myself.

But the real truth? I didn't know myself.

The person I “knew” was wearing so much armor and baggage in the form of old stories and beliefs. Ones like - “you are lazy” or “you’ll never be enough”. Of course I didn’t like that person.

What I never realized was that she wasn’t the real me.
I didn't even know the real me.
This person that I thought I knew, I didn't really know at all.
Those stories were just that. Stories. Old beliefs.
They weren’t the truth of who I was.
They were things I could let go.

Once I saw that, I couldn’t unsee it.

I saw how those beliefs about myself manifested in my life - overworking, saying yes when I really wanted to say no, never putting myself out there, not getting the tattoo that I wanted for 20+ years, never thinking I had any dreams for my life.

Seriously, I never had a bucket list or any idea of things I wanted to do.
I never dared to dream because what if they weren't "right" or “enough”?

You might be thinking that I didn’t have people in my life telling me that they loved me.
But I did (and still do!).

I heard their words of affection and would nod my head and smile, thinking "if they only knew," but I never truly received that love.
I never believed it.
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I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop - thinking that once they got to know the real me, they wouldn’t love me anymore.

What I've come to realize over the past year is that people love me just as I am. But what’s even better than that is for the first time in years, I can honestly say I love myself too.

I’ve spent this past year shedding old beliefs and getting to know me. The real me. It’s something I avoided for years - afraid of what I might find.

And now? I love my disco loving, forest fairy CareBear self. And that journey started with a simple ask - write a love letter to yourself.

Now, a year later, I’m extending that same invitation to you: write a love letter to yourself.

If this sounds hard to you, keep it simple. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Write a short note: Reflect on something you admire about yourself and complete this sentence “One thing that I love about myself is”
• Write a love letter to past you: Show your appreciation and love for all that you did and went through this past year. Celebrate the good and challenging times; they both contribute to your growth.
• Write a love letter to future you: Share how proud you are of them and the way they showed up for themselves over this next year. Celebrate their courage and the growth they’ve experienced.

Go ahead now.
Pick up that pen.
Write that letter.
Get to know the real you.
I promise, they are worth meeting.

And if you’re open to sharing it with others like you, hop into our free community & comment on this post. We’re here for you.

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